Maybe I Can Make It Through

15 August, 2012

It's been one week since I've gotten a text message response from you. One week. Do you even understand what you're doing to me with this? During this time, you've posted your whereabouts of your beautiful Florida/West Virginia trip on Facebook, yet no time to shoot me a measly text message to make sure that you're okay. And um, West Virginia? You're supposed to be in Florida, with your parents, for two whole weeks. That makes me even more worried that something may have happened to you, yet at the same time I believe that even if something did happen, I doubt it was the first day, and I doubt you've been so busy that you couldn't text your girlfriend.

And hm, guess what yesterday was? Oh yeah, you missed our two month anniversary. You didn't even text your girlfriend then. Not that I'm huge into these whole anniversary things too much, but I mean, it would be nice for a little bit of thought. Is he going to text me back tomorrow, when I text him a happy birthday? Or is he going to ignore my facebook post about his birthday, like he's probably ignoring the facebook message that I sent him hours ago.

Exactly how long are you planning to ignore me? You can't do it too long without me finding a way to talk to you. Why can't we just talk things out, try to work things out, and maybe we can get through this, get back to the way things used to be, when we were both happy, or at least I was happy, and you did a very good job pretending you were. I understand if you need a break, but it would have been nice to know that you wanted this break, and I would have gladly given you the time off from our relationship. But this whole ignoring thing, it's not my thing. I don't like it one bit, at all whatsoever.

Communication is sorta a key ingredient to having a good relationship, don't you think? Maybe not, since you don't seem to be doing much of it yourself. Honestly, I want to talk to you about all of this. I want to be able to talk to you about every little detail that's going on in my life, but you don't seem to want to listen at all. If you took the time to talk to me about how you're feeling about us, about everything going on, then I think we would both feel a whole lot better about everything, and maybe we would be able to completely work out all of our issues, make our relationship work, or find out that we're not meant to be together intimately like we are, and try our best to go back to our amazing friendship.

Every single time I get a text message, my stomach flips because I pray that it's you. It never is, and that kills me inside. Every. Single. Time. I can't take much more of this. I've cried every day besides the first day you didn't text me, because without you here, my emotions are completely bottled up and I can't stand it. I've cried myself to sleep for 6 nights straight, and I bet tonight will be the 7th.  I need you. I need to know you're okay, that we can try to work this out.

I can't do this alone anymore.